Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, September 30, 2012

I cannot tell a lie

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?" "Of course child. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:26 AM | add or view comments (14) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, September 29, 2012

What size?

Two old ladies, Sunny and Tina, were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. Tina pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Sunny: "What's that?" Tina: "A condom." Sunny: "Where'd you get it?" Tina: "You can get them at any... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:50 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

It wasn't me!

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense to get his client off the hook. "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few paltry items. His arm is not himself, so I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed solely by... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 3:23 PM | add or view comments (9) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Turn off the TV!

Too much TV????? A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter: Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 yr. old looked up at her... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:35 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, September 28, 2012

I need to do what!

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:33 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

I need to do what!

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:33 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Redneck First-Aid

Two Southerners were having the blue plate special at their favorite watering hole, when they heard an awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a Specialty Burger too fast. The first Southerner said to the other, "Think we otta... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:57 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 2:48 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Hillbilly BF

A redneck father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it." "Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month." Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:13 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Hillbilly Mirror

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy." He bought the 'picture', but... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:12 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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