Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, October 21, 2013

Truth in advertising

CLASSIFIED ERRORS, from a small-town daily: (Monday) FORE SALE - R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 555-0707 after 7 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap. (Tuesday) NOTICE - We regret having erred in R. D. Jone's ad yesterday. It should have read: One sewing machine... Sign in to see full entry.

What if advertisers told you what they really think

These are fabricated corporate slogans that would never have made if far if they entered the real world. Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?" MTV: "Loud and easy to spell." Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would be Stupid!" Iguana: "The other green meat."... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

now we understand!

Answering machine message 166 (Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service. Sign in to see full entry.

Now that's what I call an attention getter

Answering machine message 155 Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Wonderings XX

Mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks? People seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. What are they doing? Cramming for finals? Old age is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 18, 2013

jBabies!

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped... Sign in to see full entry.

Farmer Brown

Farmer Brown decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" asked the lawyer.... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Are you ready to be released?

A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first. "Tell me," said he, "if we release you, as we are... Sign in to see full entry.

Today's Stock Market Report:

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up... Sign in to see full entry.

Do you recognize any of these?

Here’s a little clarification of corporate lingo. COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you+- CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up-well, a couple of the real daring... Sign in to see full entry.