Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, August 23, 2013

Groaner alert II

An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river. "What did you do that for?" Asked a passing giraffe. "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago." "Wow,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Wonderings XIV

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound? A single fact can spoil a good argument. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional. I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there? If a mute swears, does his... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Rabbits

The French will eat almost anything. A young cook decided that the French would enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise rabbits in Paris and sell them to the finer restaurants in the city. He searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to raise his rabbits. None could be found. Finally,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wedding

At a wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle. The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Pet fish

Pat: Hey, Chris! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special. Chris: To tell you the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird. Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing... Sign in to see full entry.

Froggies

A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Groaner alert

Man goes to a dentist A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Wonderings XIII

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. The pen is mightier than the sword -- if the sword is very small and the pen is real sharp. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? Call me insane one more time and I'll eat... Sign in to see full entry.

wonderings XII

Why do they report power outages on TV? Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the driver's side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side. After you lose an election,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wonderings xi

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.... Sign in to see full entry.