speeding II
"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old." Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
Heaven
A jew, protestant, catholic and muslim all die at the same time. They arrive at the pearly gates and are told to go to the door marked for their respective religion. Each one steps into heaven and proceeds to their appropriate door. Each one opens their door. They look around and see that the others... Sign in to see full entry.
drunk tests
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."... Sign in to see full entry.
warden needs a favor
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
stop sign
A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop. After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn't stop, he just slowed down a little. The gentleman said 'Stop or slow down, what's the difference?'. The cop... Sign in to see full entry.
After shopping in a mall, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned. There... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
what's your views on...
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you Sign in to see full entry.
most unusual job interview
Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that... Sign in to see full entry.
response to a rejection letter
Baxter Conners Vice President Company 203 203 Wall St. New York, NY 10015 Dear Mr. Conners, Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your bank. This year I have been particularly... Sign in to see full entry.
resume bloopers
These are from actual resumes: "Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs. "I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability." "Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short... Sign in to see full entry.