Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

true

The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles. The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point... Sign in to see full entry.

chickens

Flash - New Weapon in America's Arsenal - Dubbed 'The Chicken Gun' Senate majority leader Howard H. Baker Jr., expressed astonishment to the Senate, over recent news accounts of an Air Force "chicken gun." It seems the gun is a converted 20-foot cannon capable of hurling dead four-pound chickens at... Sign in to see full entry.

dummies

As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right! All you dummies fall out." As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled... Sign in to see full entry.

pass me some

First soldier: "Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?" Second soldier: "No way, Jose!" First soldier: "Whyever not?" Second soldier: "It's against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!" Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Egyptian joke

Joke from My Hubby told in Egypt A man goes to a house of ill repute. The person at the front desk tells him he has 3 floors from which to choose. He goes to the first floor and sees a woman and kisses her. He notices she is missing a leg so he decides to go to the next floor. On the second floor he... Sign in to see full entry.

musicians

Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, "I can do that!" Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach in the saddle again. Q: How many bluegrass... Sign in to see full entry.

play it on your phone

All o f the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes. Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or 3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621 Frere Jacques... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

naming pets

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice... Sign in to see full entry.

burglar

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

why officer?

Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. "Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And... Sign in to see full entry.