Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

A Cheap Bar

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One penny?!" exclaimed the guy. The barman replied, "Yes." So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Snoring Remedy

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can???t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah, right," she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual.... Sign in to see full entry.

Vampires

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep. However, the bats... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Jokes about the differences between Aussies, Brits, Americans and Candadian

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club. Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves. Canadians: Believe that that is the government's job. Aussies: Dislike being mistaken... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO....,' answered the blonde.... Sign in to see full entry.

And this is how the fight started...

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror... She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." Sign in to see full entry.

Dentist are creative!

The dentist pulls out a Novocain needle to give the man a shot, so he can extract the man's tooth. 'No way! No needles. I hate needles' the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating... Sign in to see full entry.

out of the mouths of babes

A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day... Sign in to see full entry.

groaner

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked. "No, thanks,"... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Canadian Jokes

Q: How was copper wire invented? A: Two Canadians were fighting over a penny. Q: Why don't Canadian women wear sleeveless dresses? A: They aren't allowed to bare arms Q: How do you know Adam was a Canadian? A: Who else could stand beside a naked woman and be tempted by a fruit? Q: Why are the obese... Sign in to see full entry.