Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, March 15, 2013

Oh ...that is so not polite!

A guy walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" he said to her. "I don't know," replied the beautiful young woman. "It depends how personal it is." "OK," the guy said. "How many men have you slept with?" "I'm not going to tell you that!" the woman... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Get out of jail free...

Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court and the judge says, "If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won't be sent to jail." So the two men agree and the judge tells them to come back on... Sign in to see full entry.

Whoops!

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face and sharpen the old straight edge while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his... Sign in to see full entry.

Appointments

One night, as a couple lies down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Boobies

This is a joke my husband told me after I shared the crisco joke with him.... A woman was on the bus carrying her pet dog Boobie. The dog jumped from her arms and she yelled "Oh please help me! Please catch my Boobie!" Of course all the men were more than happy to oblige her. And thats when the... Sign in to see full entry.

Life's Cycle

At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants. At age 10...success is...making your own meals. At age 12...success is...having friends. At age 16...success is...having a drivers license. At age 20...success is...having sex. At age 35...success is...having money. At age 50...success is...having... Sign in to see full entry.

Got a live one!

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses. "Tsk Tsk!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can... Sign in to see full entry.

free drinks

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill." So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then... Sign in to see full entry.

Hairy Armpits

A drunk is sitting at a bar when a woman stands behind him and raises her arm really high to get the bartender's attention. She has very hairy armpits. The drunk sees this and yells at the bartender, "Get the ballerina a drink." She gets her drink and goes away. Later she returns and raises her arm... Sign in to see full entry.

hairy armpits

Hairy Armpits A drunk is sitting at a bar when a woman stands behind him and raises her arm really high to get the bartender's attention. She has very hairy armpits. The drunk sees this and yells at the bartender, "Get the ballerina a drink." She gets her drink and goes away. Later she returns and... Sign in to see full entry.