Adventures in Psychosis

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Friday, December 3, 2004

The Aftermath

It all went well. I’m able to take a deep breath now and say that things will be ok. My boss was VERY understanding about the severity of my problems, and wants to do everything in his power to make things less stressful so that he can keep me there. I’m going to work half a day today, and start... Sign in to see full entry.

Talking to my Boss

I don’t have a lot of time to write this post. When my boss comes in to the office I’m going to talk to him about everything. I’m nervous as hell; I’m almost shaking in my chair. The worst part is that I’m somewhat stressing about the whole thing, and so I was hallucinating a little while ago. I’m... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 2, 2004

A Talk With Mom

I had a nice talk with my mom tonight where I really laid out everything that’s going on with work and my hallucinations. My whole life I’ve kept things from my mother, and I actually feel bad about it now. I never told her about my dreams, about my oddities and eventually hallucinations, and so now... Sign in to see full entry.

Calling in Sick

I decided to call in sick to work today. It’s not really a lie either, my illness just isn’t a cold or flu. Tomorrow I have to talk to my boss and explain that the stress of my current position is causing me escalated hallucinations and delusions. I’m hoping that maybe I can do work that isn’t as... Sign in to see full entry.

Thank you

I wrote that previous entry last night before going to bed. After I wrote it I checked my email to see if anything fun came. There was an email there from someone with a message that seemed to make the worries dissipate. It really made me look at where I am right now, and see how fortunate I am to... Sign in to see full entry.

My World of Darkness

There’s nothing more I want than a normal life. You’ll have to forgive my pessimistic state of mind, but this is a journal in which I want to be completely honest, and so I will write this entry even when I’m feeling like I’m at the bottom of the barrel. I can feel the disease that plagues me eating... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 1, 2004

The Gift of Music

Music is perhaps the most wonderful and beautiful form of art I’ve ever experienced. It has the ability to influence our mood and change our thoughts. It aids in writing by helping to set the scene in your mind, much the way music is used in a movie. I would judge a piece of music’s beauty based not... Sign in to see full entry.

That's it, I'm Doing it

The decision has been made. Tonight after work I am going to go down to the Campbell Police Department and pay my silly ticket for not registering my car on time, then I’m going to go to that silly bookstore and see about what they’d think about hiring me in a little while. It’s something that I... Sign in to see full entry.

The Lie That is My Life

When I tell people that I have schizophrenia, they often don’t believe it because I’ve always seemed my like such a happy and easy going guy. That always makes me feel kind of good; at least I know the façade has been working. At the same time, however, it does make things more difficult for me when... Sign in to see full entry.

My Heaven

I really want to try something new as far as jobs go. I’ve been a programmer for two years now, and I just really want to do something else for a while. My only problem is the lack of a college education; that’s the one downfall to starting work as a full time programmer when you’re 18. At this... Sign in to see full entry.

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