Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, November 16, 2013

back at you

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS... Sign in to see full entry.

condoms

One day a big guy goes to his local pharmacy. He goes up to the clerk and says, "Last night I had sex, left nut go 'oomph', right nut go 'oomph', dick go 'oomph', condom go BOOM!" Now the clerk was quite impressed by this sexual feat so he grabbed some Trojans for professionals and tells the guy to... Sign in to see full entry.

don't step on a duck

Three guys get to heaven,Bob, Larry and Bill, and before they enter St. Peter warns them "whatever you do don't ever, ever, step on a duck. Once one quacks, they all do, and they make a terrible racket". Bob enters heaven and immediately steps on a duck. So an angel comes up to him and chains a... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 15, 2013

birds

What bird represents freedom? The Eagle What bird represents peace? The Dove What bird represents true love? The Swallow Sign in to see full entry.

3 guys

There was an English man, Irish man And a Scottish man who all wanted to get into the RAF.So the English man went up to the Sargeant and asked him how to get in the RAF so the Sargeant told him you had to go blow up a building without anyone seeing him.So that night he went to blow up a building and... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

ONE UPMANSHIP TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL

There are three guys in a sauna. All of a sudden there is a beep. so guy number one slaps his hand, and guy number two asks what that was. Guy one says he got his beeper implanted in his hand. He goes off and reurns his call. A little while later he comes back and hears a cell phone jingle, and guy... Sign in to see full entry.

Genies

A couple went golfing one day at a very exclusive course lined with million dollar homes. On the third tee, the husband cautioned, Honey, be careful when you drive. If we break one of those windows, it'll cost us a fortune to repair. Of course, she immediately shanked her drive right through the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

May offend so don't read it if you think it might

A man walk up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman imediately goes to her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and proceeds to explain why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with your... Sign in to see full entry.

Viagra

A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a walmart and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it. When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly. "Do you sell Viagra here?" The pharmacist... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

be specific

This guy walks into a bar and ask the bar tender for a drink. He gets his drink and minds his own business and looks up and down the bar. To his amazement, he is stunned to see a 10' pianist on top of the bar. "Hey bartender," he says..."What is that 10' pianist doing on top of your bar?" "Well, you... Sign in to see full entry.