Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

finding Danny

"Oh, no!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding... Sign in to see full entry.

Calling roll

A new primary school teacher starts her first day of class. She begins by asking students to stand and introduce themselves The first child stands and says, "My name is Mary Johnson." "Thank you, Mary", says the teacher. The second student says, "My name is Sam Smith." "Thank you, Sam." The third... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Santa III

Saturday night when we were having all the problems with staff I had a manager from another mall helping me. Santa was handed a little one who did not like to be with him at all. He started kicking a lot and well... The little one kicked him in the crotch. Santa responded with "Hey you can't kick... Sign in to see full entry.

It's time for that talk...

Little Johnny's father asked him, "Do you know about the birds and the bees?" "I don't want to know!" little Johnny said, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong. "Oh dad," Little Johnny sobbed, "At age six I got the 'there's no Santa' speech. At age seven I got... Sign in to see full entry.

Whisper

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper'." The following Sunday,... Sign in to see full entry.

Air Conditioning

Someone posted this on fb..... A patron at a restaurant was continually bothering the waiter about the air conditioning: first he would ask for the air conditioning to be turned up because it was too hot, then he would ask it be turned down because it was to cold; this went on for about a half an... Sign in to see full entry.

Spoiled

A mother, father and young son are visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother, "What's that?" "That's the elephant's tail," she replies. "No, under the tail," says the youngster. The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, nothing."... Sign in to see full entry.

Can't hide doing the deed!

Bill and Linda decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Need to stay awake in religion class

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and... Sign in to see full entry.

Ideas for new children's books

HERE ARE SOME CHILDREN BOOKS THAT WILL NEVER BE PUBLISHED: --------------------------------------- "You Were an Accident" "Strangers Have the Best Candy" "The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!" "When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know... Sign in to see full entry.