Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Professors' reply to first day antics

1. Bring a CPR dummy to class and announce that it will be the teaching assistant for the semester. Assign it an office and office hours. 2. Point the overhead projector at the class. Demand each student's name, rank, and serial number. 3. Tell students that you'll fail them if they cheat on exams... Sign in to see full entry.

Give them an opportunity...

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars... Sign in to see full entry.

What did you learn in college?

1. Quarters are like gold. 2. Be creative in the dining hall. 3. Flipflops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc. 4. You will never find so many excuses for a bucket. 5. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night. 6. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry's, Ho-Hos and... Sign in to see full entry.

Empty headed...

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright... Sign in to see full entry.

Really...Wow!

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice from... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Be careful what you expect...

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that... Sign in to see full entry.

Applying what you learn

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: "What is the usual tip?" "Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."... Sign in to see full entry.

Ahhh those college days

Freshman: Is never in bed past noon. Senior: Is never out of bed before noon. Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut. Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend. Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall. Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie... Sign in to see full entry.

LOOOL Out of mouth of babes...

The little farm boy storms out of the house, mad about being ordered to do his chores. In the barnyard, he kicks the rooster. Near the barn, he kicked a hog. In the corral, he kicked the family's milk cow. His mother saw all this and stormed out after him. "I saw you kick that rooster; just for... Sign in to see full entry.

Kids bragging rights

Three boys were bragging about their fathers. The first one said, "My father runs so fast he can fire an arrow, start running, and get there before the arrow!" The second one said, "That's nothing! My father can shoot a gun, start running, and get there before the bullet!" The third boy just smiled.... Sign in to see full entry.