The crazy lady strikes again

I found myself a topic other than the weather - one which I can talk about freely. Just the other day, I was thinking to myself that I've become what I used to accuse my former boyfriend of being - a lazy bum out to live off other people. I actually spend very little time on my writing. The rest of the time, I sit around watching TV, or playing video games. It's not something I'm proud of by any stretch of the imagination, because I remember how my former boyfriend used to sponge off his... Sign in to see full entry.

The past few days have been relaxing, to the point of boredom at times. That's a good thing - it beats being in the hospital for five weeks, where I'd be bored out of my skull with no computer to help me pass the time. Thankfully, the weather is nice - although I must admit to a feeling of frustration that I have to resort to talking about the weather in this journal. You'd think I could find a more important topic to write about. (For the record, it used to drive me nuts when my mother-in-law... Sign in to see full entry.

I made the appointment with my psychiatrist, at a time when I know I can get a car ride there and back without having to pay for cab fare. One of the things I've been having problems with lately is residual muscle weakness in one thigh, and it really affects my ability to engage in certain activities of daily living, like walking up staircases. (Many buses are not handicapped accessible, meaning they have staircases rather than little platforms to stand on that can be lowered to the level of the... Sign in to see full entry.

Garfield was right - I am a bit depressed despite regularly taking my medication. I wonder if I am making a difference writing in these blogs. Don't worry - I'm not suicidal at all, it's just that things feel a bit bleak right now. I have to make sure and make an appointment with my psychiatrist. I haven't seen him in nearly a year. That, I'm sure you'll agree, is not a good thing. On a more positive note, I have an appointment with a pulmonologist next Monday. I like this particular specialist... Sign in to see full entry.

Today, I have to go pick up some medication at my local pharmacy. This is about all I've been capable of doing since I got out of the hospital the last time. I have a hard time walking long distances because I become short of breath easily. This makes it nearly impossible for me to use mass transit, because it's a half-mile walk to the nearest bus stop. There are times when I go stir-crazy, and times when I don't want to do anything else other than sit around and watch television. There are... Sign in to see full entry.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting on the issue of domestic violence since I started posting regularly again to I am here and I am not silent. I have been especially vigilant when it comes to noting my own reactions to the subject. I've made it pretty clear that I have been a victim of emotional and verbal abuse in my life. What I've noticed is that it is easy to stay stuck in one mode - "pity the poor, helpless survivor." That's a bad metaphorical place to live in, because it is so easy to... Sign in to see full entry.

Today is one of those lazy, uneventful days that most people pray for. The problem is that if one gets too many of them in a row, it gets boring. The most exciting thing I plan on doing is watching TV. Sign in to see full entry.

I'd like to expand a little on what I wrote yesterday. There is a real person I've been trying to find, someone who has had a profound influence on my life. I don't want to name names, but I can say safely that this person led the kind of life I wish I could lead. He also had the values I wish to espouse to this day. Frankly, I would also like to contact this person to apologize to him for whatever went wrong between us. It would be a fairly generic apology - I doubt he would remember anything I... Sign in to see full entry.

Today was a day for wondering what happened to people I knew at one time, who have drifted out of my life. I'm thinking in particular of a preacher I knew, who was influential in my life, and who drifted out of it never to appear again. I have searched for this person using standard methods already, with no luck. I'm flat out of ideas, folks. That's about it for right now. Thanks for reading this far. Sign in to see full entry.

I haven't written in a few days because there has been nothing to write about, at least nothing of any importance, unless you want to read a litany of the medicines I've purchased over the past few days. However, today was a bit different. Now, normally, when I'm home, we spend all weekend driving around performing one or another chore that we can't do during the week for one reason or another. (I understand, from those who work outside the home, that this is quite common - doing chores that... Sign in to see full entry.