The crazy lady strikes again

The past couple of days have been interersting, to say the least. I have felt sicker than a dog in the morning, and much better in the afternoon. Yesterday, I thought I'd have to call 911 and get myself admitted to the hospital again, but whatever I had has morphed into something akin to the stomach flu. Now, that is something I can get over in a day or two with a little pampering and a lot of TLC. Another thing that's been going through my mind of late is my purpose in life. I grant that a lot... Sign in to see full entry.

It seems as if it never rains but it pours. Right now, due to medical bills, money is extremely tight. Fortunately, this outlet helps me alleviate that concern, and the fact that you are reading this helps. (Taking my antidepressant also helps.) Sign in to see full entry.

I'm flummoxed. My house is an unmitigated disaster area, and I am unable to do anything about it. Garfield noted in her blog The Secret Life of Cats (it can be accessed through my member profile) that my husband is unable to walk due to a gout attack - he is absolutely unable to put weight on one foot. He has never liked me to do housework - not that I'm any good at it, but the fact is that he doesn't want me to do any of it - so the house looks messy. I wish I could get some help with this... Sign in to see full entry.

I feel I'm finally ready to talk about the elephant in the living room. In her blog, Garfield mentioned that she was worried sick about me. She has good reason to be worried sick - I'm having anxiety attacks like you wouldn't believe. The main presenting problem is money. I'm worried about having enough money to pay for next month's round of medication, despite the fact that people who read my blogs are helping in some small way to alleviate my money problems. Frankly, this is just about the... Sign in to see full entry.

Now that my fine feline friend Garfield has earned her DFN degree - that's Doctor of Feline Nursing, for the uninitiated - I will have more time to write in this blog. At least I hope so - Garfield can be a demanding feline, if you get my drift. So far, the suicidal feelings I had last summer at this time have not returned. I'm grateful for that. However, my problems have not gone away, and I wish they would. I wish I could be more specific about them, as well, but old habits are hard to break.... Sign in to see full entry.

This post is actually an exercise I've assigned myself. I didn't want to spend the entire day staring at the TV screen, so I thought it would be healthier, both for my psyche and my wallet, to write in here. Things aren't perfect around here by a long shot. I've just changed my perspective about the things that need changing. Instead of spilling my guts out about them here, I'm planning on taking my problems to those who can solve them - that is, IF they can be solved in the first place. I... Sign in to see full entry.

I'm doing much better than I've been doing. I still want to have pity parties for myself, but I'm resisting the tendency to do so much more easily. Sign in to see full entry.

I wish, quite frankly, that I was rich. Life would present me with a new set of problems, to be sure, but I'd learn to cope with those problems - I hope in an admirable fashion. I'm tired - tired of being poor, tired of not knowing what to do to get out of the hole I'm in right now. I know writing in this blog - with its financial incentive - is one way to get out of the hole I seem to be stuck in. I'm also tired of the hypocrisy I have to live with on a daily basis. I wish I could confront it,... Sign in to see full entry.

Today is one of my low days. I'm catching myself not eating, not wanting to take my meds, and even not wanting to pick them up from the pharmacy. Part of the problem is that we were at one time sellers on Amazon.com, selling used books and CDs and DVDs. We had our selling privileges taken away when we violated their TOS. We really counted on that money to pay some of my medical bills, and I'm in a real pickle, trying to come up with alternate sites to sell our excess "stuff" on. I would really... Sign in to see full entry.

I think it's about time I wrote something in this blog for a change. I've barely had the opportunity to take dictation from Garfield of late. This, in fact, is the slowest period I've had since my husband went on vacation last week. I'm finding that I'm falling into the same patterns I complained about in my last post, and it frustrates me. At the same time, I realize that it's my problem to solve - I can't take it to anyone else or have them solve it for me. That's not ethical. As I wrote that... Sign in to see full entry.