Chris' Haiku and Poetry.

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

"I Have Been Fine"

In therapy,we were heading up to a ten day break! This was my reaction! This is not 'sexual'-this unseen 'thing' that binds me close to you. And so what is it? No visual cord,no twine,no string-no magnets in my shoe-- and yet I can't resist it! It came upon me like a flood and raised the passion in... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 22, 2007

"I Found Her"

In my therapy session-I was trying to recall where I hid as a child when I felt the need to.There was no where-the only place I could be alone-was in my head.That work led to this poem. I found her-in the corner of the ruins-she was huddling up and looking so sad. There was an old 'baccy tin' with... Sign in to see full entry.

"York"

At this point in my therapy-it feels like I am 'growing up' at last!I no longer allow myself to get 'sucked in' to other's situations.I wrote this poem following a visit to some of Fred's relations! I watched-what no one else saw-feeling awareness within I knew that I had lived this before-poor... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

"Mummy"

At the moment I wrote this,I had become very vulnerable and quite regressed.And this was the first time I had thought or felt,any warmth for her! Mummy, please tell me what to do-people said you're bad-- but I really do love you! Not everything was your fault-they didn't help you overcome. I wish I... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

"Psychological Prisoner"

18 months into therapy-it became clear that the relationship I was in with my dear friend Fred-was born of my dependency and had I been psychologicaly healthy,I would not have chosen to 'be here' with him.However-I did not want to free myself from him but to change my position within this... Sign in to see full entry.

"Tears To My Children"

At this time in therapy-I was realising just how much (un-consciously) I had been mis-using my children's lives. Each tear I shed-each drop that falls, bathes my face breaks down my walls. The years have fallen at my feet,a crumpled pile-a saddened heap. The 'wreckage' of a misused child-mind and... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 19, 2007

"Freedom From The Past"

I wrote this one about 18 months into my therapy. I clutch on tight,at this new found freedom-for fear the ground begins to shift and I am most desperate to keep a hold on it! To use it for self expression-to be the creator of my world. To tip-toe into future realms instead of laying curled and... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

"To My Youngest Son" (from therapy)

I have been working in sessions-on my feelings of guilt-for emotionally 'smothering' my son.However-even 'tho I 'held him back' in this way it was I who discovered his medical condition-(Juvenile Hyperthyroidism)-against what the Medics believed-which was quote'he was a little bit simple'! So I did... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

"I Stumbled Onto You".(Therapy writings)-I was experiencing-

a great deal of anger.I felt I would explode if I stayed around my family-so I drove to the coast and wrote this-(amongst others) Here I lay-my tattered Soul open wide-the dunes protect us from the saline gusty winds-chased by the tide. I take the anger from my Soul and feed it to the gulls- for too... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

"My First Eighteen Months." Back to my therapy writings.

Whilst exploring my feelings for my newly born Grandchildren,I realise how much-having them around-creates a link to the tiny being I once was.It feels so good-to see how much they are loved and cared for! The first eighteen months-following my escape from her womb- proved even more of a nightmare-a... Sign in to see full entry.

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