Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, May 10, 2013

Awww honey

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, He says,"Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says,"Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to... Sign in to see full entry.

Yikes!

Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways. The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into... Sign in to see full entry.

gassy

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office." The doctor says, "I see, take these... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Great deal

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly... Sign in to see full entry.

Don't be that way

After weeks of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, an unhappy husband finally confronted her. "Admit it, Linda," he said, "The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me $10 million." "Don't be ridiculous!" she shot back. "I don't care who left it to you." Sign in to see full entry.

Hermaphrodite

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong??" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit... Sign in to see full entry.

too much honesty

The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I... Sign in to see full entry.

New use for birth control pills

A woman asked her doctor for birth control pills. "Ma'am, how old are you?" "I'm 75." "What possible need do you have for birth control pills?" "They help me sleep better." The doctor looked perplexed. "Just how do birth control pills help you sleep?" "I sneak them into my granddaughter's orange... Sign in to see full entry.

Take the HIGH road

The 50-ish wife comes up to her husband and says, 'So, Harvey. What do you think of my new bra-less look? Does it make me look younger?' 'It does!' Harvey says. 'It pulls all the wrinkles out of your face!' Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

church ladies

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This d river is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there... Sign in to see full entry.