A Tree Grows in Brooklyn for Monday, October 16, 2006

Suit on cell: It's like, "No, homeless person, you can't have a quarter, I need money for resume paper." --Court & Joralemon Asshole, pointing to guy with Red Sox bumper sticker on his wheelchair: He's a Boston fan; let's kick his ass! Oh wait, looks like God beat us to it. --126th & St Nick Teenage bride-to-be on cell:...yeah. But, no, I'm totally ready to walk across the aisle. --Target, South Bronx Elderly shopkeeper in the pouring rain: Hey! Hey, amigo! When you go home, don't take shower.... Sign in to see full entry.

While my obsession with this fantastic website continues, please indulge me... And Remember, Fans, Wednesday Is 'Pussy Tattoo Night' Here at the Ballpark Woman #1: I don't know how I'm gonna get Bernie to go down on me. I've even tried waxing. Woman #2: Maybe you can tattoo a little Yankees logo down there. Woman #1: Are you kidding? It would be a holy object. He would kneel and make burnt offerings. Woman #2: At least he would be kneeling. That's a start. --Williamsburg Sign in to see full entry.

Little boy: Ewww...ewww.... Mom: Stop saying ewww..those are bras.. Little boy: I hate bras Mom: Don't say that, you'll change your mind when you gets older. --JC Penney lingerie department, Queens www.overheardinnewyork.com (a website devoted to those little things supposedly overheard in strange places in New York City. More on the way, when I find them). Sign in to see full entry.

Two and a half years ago, when I was a sophomore in college, I was in a horrible car accident in southwestern Virginia. Given the circumstances, its remarkable that I even walked out alive. I can't remember exactly what happened. I was driving over to a nearby college to visit some friends of mine; it was on a country road on the side of a mountain and I was driving too fast. It was February, so there was a lot of ice on the ground; I skidded, overcorrected, skidded on the road and went flying... Sign in to see full entry.

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays of the year. OK, it's not a real holiday, but that's nesides the point. It's a fun, silly way to look and act straggely without people actually thinking that you're strange. So I've decided to begin telling some of my favorite Halloween stories. Some of them are actually kind of funny--as most stories of this type usually tend to be. Two years ago, when C and I were still together, he and a friend went as Smurfs for Halloween. Both guys were short, so... Sign in to see full entry.