Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

help me doc

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?" "I'm sure I can." the... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Grandson II

mom: do you want a baby brother or sister? grandson: no all they do is sleep and poop mom: well you did grandson: no i was never a baby. i was a dog for 10 minutes then a little boy Sign in to see full entry.

My Grandson

Mom can I have a kit kat? No But I already had one. How? It fell into my mouth. Sign in to see full entry.

Get ready for Santa or maybe not

T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scrap the whole works I've busted my butt for damn near a year Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear The old lady bitches... Sign in to see full entry.

Oh NO!

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem... In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself". That same day the man went to the store and... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Hey...can you give me a push?

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags... Sign in to see full entry.

Fine Dining!

A man and his wife were in a fancy resturant. While ordering, they noticed that the waiter had a spoon in his shirt pocket, and after looking around, they observed the other waiters and busboys each had a similar spoon. So the husband says, "what's with the spoon?" The waiter said,"well, we had this... Sign in to see full entry.

Dog Revenge

A three legged dog is walking down the middle of the road with a shotgun in his hand. When he was asked why he had a shotgun he said "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa". Sign in to see full entry.

The ultimate

A businessman, who would take extended business trips, was tired of his wife's extracurricular activities while he was away. So he decides to get her some "toys" to keep her occupied while he's gone. He goes to an adult store, and strikes up a conversation with the old guy behind the counter,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

sometimes it doesn't pay to speak your mind

There were three texans and they went to mexico to get drunk. They go there get drunk and pass out they wake up the next morning in jail. They ask the guards what they are in for. The guard says the only thing he knows is that they were to be executed for their crimes. Well the day comes and the... Sign in to see full entry.